Long overdue like old library books

Wow. I know it has been a long time but this update is gonna be juicy! Please imagine is doofy accent in each of these quotes.

#1- So I was at my desk Doin Work and Matt was at his computer surfing facebook. Out of nowhere, he turns around and says "Hey Greg... This facebook thing is kinda cool!!!" Man... what a fuckin moron.

#2- Matt had a bumper sticker on his facebook that he wanted to get rid of and he was asking about how to get rid of it. I was trying to help him out, when all of a sudden he HIGHLIGHTS the bumpersticker on his profile page and hits the delete key with a dumb look on his face.... WOW.

#3- Matt kept putting Andy's hood over his head while they were in line at church for ashes and a bunch of girls were laughing at Andy. When they got out of church, matt proceeds to say "They laugh at me cuz I'm funny, they laugh at you cuz your stupid"....

#4- Austin asks Matt "If the LAST PERSON in the world jumped off of a cliff would you?" Matt replies, "No, committing suicide is a sin". We laugh at Matt because obviously Matt wouldn't be around if the LAST PERSON in the world jumped off a cliff, and he makes it even funnier by saying " I thought about that guys, and I assumed that he meant the second to last person in the world". Right Matt, so I guess if Austin says "The last person in the world" it really means the second to last person... What a PE major.

#5- I notice Matt's nose is bright red today at breakfast, and I ask him what happens. "I was shaving my nose to get rid of the dead skin Greg." Jay then tells me that matt normally shaves his forehead as well. What the fuck?!?! Matt replies "Its to get rid of the dead skin on my forehead. Its good for my skin, it exfoliates it!"...... wow. He can't even spell the word sweet where did he come up with exfoliate? Oh and this just in, Matt put after shave on his nose after he shaved it......

I'm sure I left a few out, but trust me folks, the blog is back and better than ever.


Domo Arigato-
The Mole "The only one behind closed doors with Matt besides Amanda"

"This Isn't Aloe Vera!!!"

Last night at the end of dinner we noticed Matt Kenny doing something rather odd. We had all picked up our trays and were ready to go, and Matt was seen sitting in the booth rubbing pieces of melon on his lips like lip gloss. Yes, this sounds weird and hard to imagine, but that is exactly how it happened. Piece after piece of melon, matt would grace it across its lips and then devour it. His response to our awe and shock was "Ey! My lips is chapped!" Last I checked, this isn't aloe vera... it was a slice of melon!

Thanks Matt,
Just stay out of the web

A New Spot

After shooting the shit (matt kenny's new favorite phrase) for quite some time at the hickey, matt griffo and I decided to explore the quick center. The group made its way up to a modern art exhibit, and we each told what we thought the paintings were. After rather intelligent responses from Griffo and myself, Matt was amazed. While our responses ranged from a dark shores to optimus prime crying, matts were more along the lines of "that looks like a vagina" or something completely off. Alas an elderly couple entered the room and we finished our fun. Matt was not yet done with funny stories however. As I noticed a young boy in a window adjacent to us making faces at us and pointed him out, matt made a rather inappropriate face at the young child, surely scarring him for life. We can only hope this kid does not become an axe murderer.

Wiffle Ball With Mark

Just a short anecdote on Matt Kenny...

Here at St. Bonaventure the tundra of the winter has begun to thaw, as the seasons change. The other day we were walking back to our dorm and we made a comment about the smell in the air when it begins to warm up and the snow slowly melts. We collectively agreed the it was quite an unpleasant smell. Of course Matt Kenny had to disagree with us, saying, "I don't know I kinda like the smell." However, Matt Kenny didn't stop there, he had to take it a step further, as he went on to say, "It reminds me of playing wiffle ball in Mark's backyard." Not only was the comment completely outrageous, but what made it more asinine was that none of use even know who Mark is. My theory is it could be an imaginary friend from his childhood; that would be typical of Kenny. As I always say it's just another Matt Kenny moment.

Saucy Slang

Buon giorno! For the first time, I graciously welcome you into the wide and exciting world of Matthew Kenny. Firstly, it is an honor to be a scribe of the memoirs of the legendary Favre follower. My first entry involves a dinner-time conversation and some newfound phrases. I was vigorously picking at my fried chicken when Matthew expressed his love for "hanging out with the boys, not eating, just sitting." I agreed with Matthew, and then employed the commonly used phrase "shooting-the-shit." I then look up to gaze upon a dumbfounded Matthew. Then it struck me, he had never heard this phrase before. He looked at me as if it was some kind of prime-ape, poopoo slinging behavior. Once I and the fellows at the table explained the true meaning behind this phrase, one minute didn't pass when "shooting-the-shit" didn't come out of Matt Kenny's mouth. Knowledge is bliss. Until next time, Arrivederci!
GreasyPenmanship

Issue of Apology

The entire Matt Kenny Chronicles staff would like to offer a sincere apology to Amanda Johnson. The aim of this site was not to offend anyone, rather it is to celebrate the unique life of Matt Kenny. The comments issued in the blog were not intended to be malicious, but were offered up in a humorous and insincere manner. Once again we are sorry for the misunderstanding that has occurred. The blog was created to bring people together around the common grounds of our affection for Matt Kenny, instead of causing separation and hostility. We understand that we not only represent ourselves, but we also shoulder the duty of carrying on the spirit of Matt Kenny. Matt would not want such events to occur, so we promise something like this will not happen in the future.

A Third Musketeer Is Added To THe Team

Hey readers!! I shall be referred to as the mole, so my identity can remain anonymous and because I have access to vital inside information on the life of Matt Kenny. His most recent "kennyism" took place last night.

Matt- " **** I hate doing laundry"
Me- "Yeah me too.... I'll do your laundry for money"
Matt- "Ill do your laundry for money"
Me- "Ok how about I do your laundry for 10 bucks and you do mine for 5!"
Matt- ".......... hmmmm"

He then proceeds to walk out of the door... what an IDIOT!!!!!! 10$>5$


Thanks Matt for yet another Kennyism



--The Mole (The only one behind closed doors with Matt besides Amanda Johnson)